I first wrote about my sleep paralysis awhile back.
After being on sleeping medication for the past several months, which was actually fairly effective, the growing side-effects convinced me to stop taking it. Aside from a bit of nausea and the rebound insomnia being a BITCH, it hasn’t been TOO bad. Wait who am I kidding – insomnia makes me want to stab myself in the face.
Anyway, after finally getting tired enough to go to bed at 8:30 this morning, I had a series of sleep paralyses each time I would start to drift off, but they were much worse than the ones I’ve had in the past. They paralysed me for longer, and as much as I tried to pull myself out of it by wiggling my toes and fingers I couldn’t move any part of my body; even trying to force my eyelids to stay open wasn’t very effective. I can’t remember what I was dreaming about each time I woke up – it happened four times – but for some reason it was scary, so I tried really hard to become fully conscious rather than letting myself be pulled into sleep. As it was morning it was broad daylight, so I thought it shouldn’t be that scary if I let myself fall back asleep again. But each time it happened, the sleep paralysis would kick in again and I felt compelled to fight it.
The other really strange thing about it was that each time I started to lose consciousness, I would feel a deep humming sensation in my head, and then my body would start shaking as the dreams started and the paralysis told hold. Each of these cycles occurred very quickly, in a matter of seconds as opposed to the drawn-out process it usually is; and I could actually feel it taking hold each time and thinking “should I fight this, or should I surrender?”
It’s really hard to explain, and I wish I could attach a cable from my head to my Mac and record what I see during these things. They always feel like they’re going for much longer than they really are. The longer it takes you to get your body to move and pull yourself out of it, the more you panic – and panicking when you can’t move is not fun.
Well that’s my sleep weirdness for this weekend.
x K
Posted in Things I write down
Tags: insomnia, paralysis, sleep, sleep disorder, sleep disturbance, sleep paralysis