Anyone who knows me knows I like to drink. I’m from Darwin (heh). I’ve also been a bartender for the better part of the last decade, so of course I like to drink.
I’m not particularly fussy. I’m happy with most tap beers, though I do love a good Tanqueray Ten martini every now and then (finances permitting). Big fan of whiskey sours too. Sauvignon Blanc also (I tried a great Spanish one the other night). Sometimes just a simple vodka, lime and soda. Or Zubrowka on the rocks. Or Campari and soda. Mmmmm, Campari…
Anyway, what I was supposed to be getting at is that I am detoxing for the month of April. Not just alcohol, but cigarettes and Diet Coke too (though there will be no more cigarettes at all from now on). I guess alcohol is the important one, though. I don’t really go out much these days as I am too poor to do so, but I do get knock-offs at work, which is two free drinks. Sometimes I get other peoples’ knock-offs, if they’re not drinking that night. Then it’s easy to just keep drinking. We all do it there. And we all say we want to drink less, but never make the effort.
I also drink at home to go to sleep, as I have chronic insomnia. The scariest thing about giving up alcohol is knowing that I am going to be awake every night from now on. Until dawn. I will get to see the sun rise every morning. Yay. I will stress about not being able to sleep, and think about other personal things that are troubling me, and the anxiety will make the insomnia even worse. Repeat.
Aside from this, I don’t really have any reasons for drinking, at least not for drinking outside of special occasions. I don’t need alcohol to socialise. I have gone for months without drinking whilst working in a bar, so there isn’t really the hospitality pressure either. I guess I mainly drink because I’m bored. And I can’t sleep. I spend a lot of time in front of a computer, not sleeping, and drinking gives me something to do. And, hopefully, will make me tired. But sometimes makes me hungover as well.
One of my friends wrote a facebook post yesterday about how she was looking for inspiration to quit drinking after a particularly boozy week (again) and linked to this post, which I found quite motivating. I don’t intend to become straight-edge by any means. I don’t use drugs, so I guess I am halfway there anyway. But I don’t want to give up alcohol completely. I want to give up drinking out of boredom and attempts to sleep. That will cut down my drinking by about 90% anyway. I would like to have a beer or a martini every now and then, since I really do love them (and the other drinks I mentioned above…. mmmm Campari).
I also have a terrible diet, and this is my other reason for giving up alcohol for awhile. I’m not going to eat healthy food if I wake up feeling seedy; hell, it’s hard enough to force myself to make healthy food even when I haven’t been drinking. I’m pretty lazy when it comes to cooking at home. But hopefully if I stop polluting my body with artificial chemicals and start exercising again, I will be able to sleep better and won’t need to drink out of boredom/being awake too long.
So that brings me to the end of this convoluted rant. I’m off now to get another coffee.
x Kitten of Doom